


Ouma Goes To Subway

by TeruTeruObliterator11037



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, Gen, John Mulaney Quotes, Kaede is a Good Child Who Is Trying Her Best, Ouma Makes Some Bad Choices, Subway AU, Vegan!Gonta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 09:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10241594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeruTeruObliterator11037/pseuds/TeruTeruObliterator11037
Summary: Ouma is hungry and goes to his local Subway!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everbody! I hope that you all had a great weekend!  
> I hope I'm not writing too much Ouma stuff. I just love him to death and he's a good source of inspiration. I'm really sorry if this is clogging up the metaphorical sewer drains of the NDRV3 tag!  
> Subway is pretty rad, and I had some ideas, so I wrote this!  
> Well, I'll quit rambling! Without further ado, enjoy!

"tap tap

tappity tap

clank clank

screeethceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee e e eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn n"

went ouma;s ungly shoes on the concrete

like what brand are those

like crocs probably

mixed with like tap shoes

BUT THATS NOTT THTEHE POINT

THIS IS NOT ABOUT OUMA'S SHOES

MAYBE NEXT TIME

So Ouma was walking to the local Subway.

WHy?

he was hungry

why?

he hasn't eaten in 3 days

why?

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

he forgot

sO ANYWAYS OUMA WAS WALKING TO THE LOCAL SUBWAY

and he  entered the local subway

and entered the line like a functioning member of society

he could overhear the order of somebody that he maybe knew

"Hello, may Gonta please have a salad?" said Gonta, (the somebody ouma maybe knew)

At That Point, Ouma, Making No Effort To Stop Himself, Began To Laugh.

"TAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Amami's talent?"

(Gonta was trying to say ??? but he didn't know English)

"Nishishi, who on the face of this lightly salted earth orderS A SALAD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   ,, , , , , AT SUBWAY?

ITS CALLED **SUB** WAY NOT **SALAD** WAY"

"Gonta apologizes for the inconvenience, but since Gonta is vegan, he is unable to eat a sandwich."

"GO BACK TO WHOLE FOODS"

"Alright." Gonta turned to the employees of the Subway, apologized, and headed towards the door.

The employee waiting for KoKimchi to take his order was none other than Miu Iruma.

ouma began,,,"Can I have a sandwich please?"

"NO!!!1!1111!!!!!!!!111one11!!1!!!1!!!!1exclamationpoint1!1!!@"

"ok !"

"YOURE A LITTLE FAT GIRL ARENT YOU?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOoOooO"

"SAY IT"

" _IIM A LITTLE FAT GIRL"_

Another employee, Kaede Akamatsu, noticed the commotion and beckoned Miu to the meat freezer,a nd Miu went to the meat freezer. She walked over to the ordering station, her blond locks bouncing lightly against her upper back.

"Sorry about that," she said with a warm smile, "What would you like to order?"

"i mean I would get a pulled pork sub but

that would be _bun_ **pig** nified

_soooooooooooo_

meatball sub on flatbread

extra meatball"

keades expression faltered, as did hre written grammar,

'y tho"

'I'm gonna sue"

"aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA fine

And So Kaede Made The Meatball On Flatbread With Extra Meatball, Which Took Her Thirty Minutes Because She Needed To Buy Duct Tape To Keep The Sandwich From Exploding.

"Anything else, sir?" she panted.

"Um yes, some amami rantaro please?"

"I'm sorry?"

Ouma screeched through a megaphone, "UM YES, SOME AMAMI RANTARO PLEASE?"

"What?"

//'"Oh uupsies I mean avocado."

"Okay."

kaede didn't even bother this time,

she just squeezed the avocado paste onto the top of the flat bread

and just spread it all over

with a jam knife

used for knifing jam

yum yum

she just slid the sammy on over to ~~gomen na~~ Saihara, who was at the cash register

Saihara sighed, trying to keep it together, "What did you order?"

"I order u to go out w/ me"

"That'll be $4.50"

Ouma said nothing, throwing a five dollar bill and a slip of paper with his number at the boy standing across from him.

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," said tsaiyhahwrah

'hmu bby"

 ouma snatched the sandwich from the counter, and slowly slam dunkd each meatball into the trash, nba style

he walked off, eating what was le''ft of the snadwich,,,,,,,,,,,,;

(kaede was watching the scene as if she was watching her tru love get stabbed to death)

kokiti kicked the door open and lfet,

tap tap

tappity tap

clank clank

screeethceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee e e eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn n

byebye

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo! Congratulations for getting this far!  
> I had a field day writing this, so I hope you enjoyed reading this around as much!  
> As always, if you have something to say in the comments, I'm more than happy to hear it!  
> Well, please take care of yourselves, and know that you are loved! Catch you all on the flip side!


End file.
